How To Successfully Land A Second Date
Here is some information I would like to share with you. First dates can be a nerve-wracking experience. You might meet the woman of your dreams, but if you get that first date wrong, you can probably say goodbye to the second. This sucks, especially if you fall head over heels for her. So, in this article, we will give you a few tried and tested dating tips to help you. Not only will they make your first date less stressful, but they will hopefully guarantee you the chances of that second date and whatever might come after.
Dating Tip #1: Remember first impressions
Apparently (according to the experts), people make their first impression within the first five seconds of meeting us. This is a little unfair, of course, but, thankfully, most people will at least stick around to get to know us a little better. Still, people can learn a lot about us within those first few moments. If you haven’t bothered to get changed or showered for the date, for example, she might assume you don’t care about your appearance. If you don’t turn up on time, your date may consider you an unreliable person, even if it wasn’t entirely your fault. So, focus on getting that first impression right. Wear something approaching fashion and that suits you as a person, be you big and tall or round and small. Make sure you are clean, freshly shaven and smelling good. Then ensure you get to your chosen location in good time – check out the bus times, work out parking spots for your car, etc. and be ready and waiting when your date arrives.
Dating Tip #2: Choose somewhere you will both enjoy
You might be the perfect gentleman, but if you only focus on what she wants, you may feel uncomfortable and out of your depth. Alternatively, you might take charge and choose the location, but if she doesn’t have a good time, the date is not going to go well. So, have a conversation beforehand. Ask her what she likes, and then share your thoughts. You don’t have to see a rom-com because she wants to, and she shouldn’t have to endure a beer night in your usual hangout. Compromise, see a film you will both enjoy, go for drinks and a meal in a place that will suit you both, and you will both have a better time.
Dating Tip #3: Avoid awkward silences
If it’s your first time meeting up, you are both going to feel a little nervous. However, you can alleviate a lot of the stress by chatting online a bit first, or even talking on the phone. This way, you will find out a bit more about her (and vice versa), so the conversations during your first date shouldn’t be as stilted. Still, you should plan in advance and have some conversation topics up your sleeve. These should be broad and open-ended, as you need to avoid yes/no answers on topics that aren’t going to go anywhere. With the right conversation starter, you will find your chatter flowing onto other topics naturally, and you may not need the other ideas you had hidden in your pocket. Remember to keep things light as well. If you bring up a heavy topic or something embarrassing, she will feel awkward, and you will end up kicking yourself for opening your mouth in the first place.
Dating Tip #4: Don’t be afraid of pauses
Continuing the point above, there will be pauses in conversation sometimes, but these shouldn’t always be considered ‘awkward.’ Don’t attempt to fill the gap by talking about yourself yet again, or complimenting her on her dress (again), or saying something potentially stupid just to fill airspace. It’s perfectly fine to take a breather, and provided you have something sensible to say if the pause seems to take forever, you should be fine.
Dating Tip #5: Avoid wandering eyes
You’re on a date with somebody, so make sure they are always at the center of your attention. No matter how attractive the girl is on the other table, you shouldn’t avert your gaze from your date to have a sneaky look. How would you feel if the date checked out every other guy who came past? You would probably feel jealous, annoyed, and inferior, no matter how well-presented you were. So, focus on your date, make her the subject of your compliments, appreciate her for who she is, and act as if she’s the only girl in the world… or at least in the bar.
Dating Tip #6: Don’t talk about your ex
This usually happens when there is a lull in the conversation, or when she asks you how long you have been playing the dating game. She might even ask you outright, but despite her inquisitiveness, keep your answers brief. For starters, you don’t want to think about your ex, especially if your breakup was painful. You might end up comparing your date to your ex unfairly, and you will probably end up calling your date your ex’s name by mistake. Despite any probing questions about your date, she is probably trying to make herself feel more secure. So, don’t talk at length about your ex, explain that she is in the past, and you are now looking towards your present and future love life.
Dating Tip #7: Switch off your phone
As we said, focus on your date. If you’re constantly checking Facebook or texting your bros updates on how your night is going, your date is going to get annoyed. The same applies to when your phone rings. You might be in the middle of a perfectly pleasant conversation, and your mum might phone up at the worst possible moment. So, switch it off, and by ‘off’ we don’t mean onto silent or vibrate mode. The only conversation you need to be having is with your date and not somebody from your Facebook wall.
Dating Tip #8: Curb your enthusiasm
You may have ‘met the one’, ‘netted the perfect catch,’ found the girl of your dreams,’ (add your own lovestruck phrase here), but you don’t want to put her off. If you have fallen in love on your first date, you need to remember that she may not feel the same way. It’s probably not real love anyway, but sometimes our heart can take over our head. Curb your enthusiasm and play things cool. Don’t start talking about engagement rings, mentioning the beautiful children you are going to have together or discussing the possibility of buying a home. You are only going to send her ‘fleeing for the hills,’ ‘getting out of dodge,’ ‘running for cover,’ (add your own escape phrase here), so still your beating heart and leave talk of the future until a literal later date.
Dating Tip #9: Offer to pay the bill
Yes, we know we are living in forward-thinking times, so women should be allowed to pay their own way at a date. Still, if everything has gone well and you want to meet her again, you can still make every effort to be a gentleman and offer to pay for the bill. She might refuse your offer, in which case breathe a sigh of relief (hint: don’t go anywhere too expensive) and share the cost. On the other hand, she might appreciate the gesture, and might then offer to pay the next time you go out together. Note: don’t ‘forget’ to take your wallet – that will not bode well for future dates!
Dating Tip #10: Say goodbye the right way
The first date is almost over, and there’s the question of what should happen next. Should you invite her back to your place? Should you go back to hers? Do you go in for the kiss? Do you get down on one knee and ask her to marry you? With regards to that last one, remember tip #8. And as for the others, play it safe. Your date doesn’t have to end with a full-on kiss, let alone sex, but be respectful. If things have gone well, a soft kiss on the lips is probably enough for this stage, and anything else should wait until you know each other better. Tell her what a great time you had, and if you do (or don’t) want to meet her again, be honest and let her know. If you followed the other tips on this page, you should have made an excellent impression, and if you are both in agreement, let the next date commence whenever suits. Who knows, it may be the start of a beautiful relationship.
We hope this article has been useful to you. Of course, while our tips are tried and tested, chances are not everything will go to plan. If you do screw up in any way – you turn up half-dressed/ you can’t pay for the meal/ you forget to put in your contacts and spend half the night with the wrong person – apologize and make amends. You’re only human, after all, as is she. With nervousness, mistakes may happen, despite your best efforts, but enjoy the date and each other regardless.