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It’s New Years! I thought that I wanted to do a post that highlighted this awesome and sad year that we had, but I decided not to do so. This post is one of the most difficult posts that I ever wrote. 2018 is a year that I will NEVER forget. Not because I am recalling all of the sadness that I faced this year. Not because I am thinking about issues that plagued my youth. But because my nephew is NOT letting me write. All I hear is “Uncle Kavie“ which is what my nephew calls me. I don’t mind it, I know that he won’t be this age forever. Also, he won’t look at me the way that he does now forever. One day I won’t be the cool uncle anymore. I will be the old man screaming “good God Almighty” when I see the young women pass by. I will be speaking my mind and become unapologetic in my speech smelling like a half ounce of loud. Don’t judge me, because I
But, I bring up my nephew because he is one of the most sincere people that God put in my life. Whenever I see my nephew he asks if I am hungry. Whenever he sees money on the floor, he will pick it up and put it to the side for “Uncle Kavie.” (I had a contract to fulfill for a brand and I asked my nephew what color should I choose? My nephew says to me “choose black because it’s your favorite.” I had to smile and give him a hug.) My nephew always asks me if I am hungry. And if we arrive at a location together, he will make sure that we leave together. Believe it or not, those small things give me life. Those small things give me the energy to carry on.
2018 had more lows than highs to me. I am thankful for life, but 2018 was a very tumultuous year. The Gentlemen’s Curb “exposed” ourselves to the world. I would question how could I go on? My living situation could be better, but I am still thankful. My temple, my synagogue was met with a tragic and unfortunate fire that left us “homeless.” (My grandfather transitioned and one of our beloved leaders transitioned). I was devastated! You can familiarize yourself with that post by clicking here. I will admit that I was in a dark space in my life. I saw the bottom of many bottles. (Vodka, Taylor Port, Hennessey, you name it!) My life was spinning out of control and I would pray to God but, it felt as if he wasn’t listening. But, God was watching the ENTIRE time and guiding my steps so that I am here today.
It was a Tuesday evening and I decided that I had enough of life. I didn’t see things getting any better. I saw no progression in my personal life. I felt as if my hope was gone. I saw no purpose to live. There were little things in my life that weren’t connecting the way things should. I felt as if things were unbearable. (As I am writing this, I recognize that things can be worse
But, before doing anything all I could think about was my nephew. How would he feel with me gone? How could I hurt him and back out of his life so suddenly? I pictured him crying near my casket and I couldn’t finish. My love for my nephew triumphed over the demon that
This little boy doesn’t understand the impact that God allowed him to have on my life. So, I want to highlight my nephew and showing my appreciation. When times get tough, I recite prayers and remember who I push for. I am 6’1 300 plus pounds. So, it’s odd that I would get strength from a five-year-old that weighs about 50 pounds soaking wet. It’s a weird thing when you look up to someone that loves and admires you. My nephew makes sure that I am good and he is on a path to become noble and honest. And I know for sure I am working towards nobility and being forthright because of him. I felt that it was important to start my 2019 with no secrets. Hopefully, this energy will maintain and carry you into 2019. I am counting my blessings. I hope that I have a lot to do with that. It makes me want to curb all of my steps to make sure that I am setting a good example and to be strong for my nephew.
Mentally, I am in a good space now and I am thankful. My mindset has altered and I am looking at life through a different lens. I am looking at life through the lens of love. Love can help you overcome and is difficult to destroy. Love Can Give You Life. Thanks for reading this super long post. Thanks for showing love towards The Gentlemen’s Curb all throughout this year. Thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable and transparent with you all. Until next time, it’s The Gentlemen’s Curb a lifestyle blog where fashion meets fitness in a BIG way.